A Wedding in Kashmir India

It is late spring in the northern hemisphere and I am spending a couple of months in Kashmir. After 3 three week tours to southern India, northern India, and Nepal this year I decided I'd take a break, avoid the South African winter, Soccer World Cup, and relax here in the Vale of Kashmir for awhile.
I am staying in my friend Rasool's new boutique hotel in Srinigar. I am 1+ kms. from Dal Lake which I walk down to each morning.
With all of this time on my hands, many friends suggested I blog about my experiences here.

I arrived May 20th and immediately had some Salwar Kamez's made from the silk sari's I had bought in Bangalore in southern India in February. This is a pair of baggy pants that are pleated across the front top of the thigh. A knee length tunic with differing sleeve lengths comes over these. You then wear a 3 meter died to match scarf around the throat and down your back or softly over your head as the Kashmiri women do.

Day 1 was an evening family dinner for about 200 people....a small affair to them.
As I arrived that evening the large garden was lit with multi coloured twinkie/fairie lights that led you up the path. They were in the trees, on the schrubs, and on the roof too. Two extremely large tents were erected in the garden for the festivities. One was for the women and one for the men. The famous Kashmiri crewel (wool hand embroidery) worked fabric was used as the walls with windows of lace. There were large chandaliers hanging down the middle of the tent with ceiling fans for the warmer days.
The woman's tent was approximately 20X50 meters in size. The men's tent was a bit smaller. The floor was covered in large local carpets overlapping each other so they could be sat upon. They included the small trees and schrubs that exisited in the garden.
At one end of the woman's tent sat a group of women with 2 huge samovars containing "Saffron Tea". This is made from fresh saffron, peeled chopped almonds, cinnamon, cardamom, green tea and sugar. This tea I am told is only consumed in Afghanastan and Kashmir. It was delicious accompanied by different cookie/biscuits.
Kashmir grows the most famous and costly saffron in the world which blooms in the crocus flower in October. The Persian saffron is respected as well, but the Kashmiri is the finest.
I was told by a member of the family that the women spent days in preparations for this regal feast. On one day a dozen or more gathered to clean all of the rice that was to be fed to the approximate 600 guests over the 3 days. Another day they gathered to shell and peel the almonds used in a variety of things including the delicious "Saffron Tea". Then 1 day for chopping all of the onions and garlic to be used. As my male friend told me, this is about the women and for the women of the family.
Each day a different beautiful outfit was worn by each woman attending. Such amazing designs, shades and combinations of colours in these Salwar Kamez's. All of the gold jewelry that was given to these women at their own weddings, and throughout their marriages is worn. Wow the amount of gold there was astounding.

The bride was a beautiful 24 year old woman entering a marriage arranged by her parents. Those who can afford it bring in the services of the matchmaker...a Eunich with a list of names of eligle young men and women from Kashmir. This is not to be scoffed at, he has every detail of every marriagable male and female for miles around.

She too had a different elaborate outfit on each day. Her position on the floor changed as did her dress. The first evening she was on the floor surrounded by the elder women. The second day she was placed accross the room on carpets with a lovely silk carpet as a backdrop. The final day she was on a dias, carpets in front, back and the area she was sitting on.
I doubt she could stand on her own with the amount of heavy jeweled fabric that draped from her body. Her makeup was impeccable and the jewelry glitterded from her head, ears, neck, and hennaed hands.

The second evening was much like the first, but far more people in attendance. Close friends were mixed in with the family tonight. Drumming and tambourines were played while many of the women sang traditional songs. A professional henna woman was brought in to henna the women and I had a lovely design put on my hands. Some had the designs going right up the arm. The bride is hennaed this night as well and her design goes right up to the shoulder and her feet are done as well.


If you read Salmon Rushdie's book "Shalimar the Clown" you will have learned about the Waz Wan cooks who have been famous in Kashmir from the times of the Mugul emperors.
There are families of these all male cooks with recipes passed down through the ages. Some are secret and only a few old men still know them.
Tented ceilings were set up behind the house for them to cook on open fires in huge kettle type pots and pans. Meat was chopped on tree stumps, a sight to behold.

We were served huge plates of rice and men wandered through the tents ladling heaped spoonfuls of delightful mysterious dishes. Most of the meat was a combination of lamb and spices poached into a dumpling of sorts. The spiced minced meat cooked on skewers over open fires was much like the "Kafta" of Egypt or Morocco. Chicken was served as well as a variety of veggie dishes.

Day 3 Is the "BIG"day. The women arrive in their most beautiful outfits with all of their jewelery. Top to toe a fashion statement. Bangles that stack from wrist to mid arm, heavy gold earings that cover the entire ear, often held in place with a chain over the top of the head, ending in jeweled slippers.

The men have changed from their denims which they have worn the past 2 days. They say they must work and help serve and so good clothing isn't worn. Today however they are in suits, or at the least slacks and a sports coat.
The little girls and boys reflect their parents with the boys in denims and the little girls in the frilliest dresses I have ever seen.

This lunch is the most extravagant yet. Musicians play traditional music in the background.
Some leave, some stay on for the the next set of festivities.
The only time the groom's family are present is the last evening when they come for dinner. The groom is fed and then he gathers his bride and off they go. The guests remain on until late into the night singing, dancing, knowing this was an incredable experience had by all.